Guys, I did it again.
I’ve been comfortable since my last stint abroad, I’ve been good. I’ve graduated college. I’ve paid off my student loans. I’ve settled into a career that both aligns with my degree and my personal values. I’ve moved in with my boyfriend. I’ve quadrupled my savings account. I’ve started running.
But then, something happened.
I don’t like to say that it was because my boyfriend moved to Florida in pursuit of his own dream job, because it wasn’t just that. My best friend, Becky, was graduating. My lease was ending. Winter was coming. I wasn’t learning. I was comfortable, and I realized that there is such a thing as being too comfortable. And somewhere on a hike along the Manistee River, or perhaps it was a night of one too many glasses of wine, I don’t honestly remember when it was, or where it was, or who started the conversation that led to Becky and I whispering “what if’s” in a society that does not like you to ask those sort of questions.
What if I quit my job?
What if I travel the world? What if there’s more to life than graduating college to find a good job and settle down with a lover? What if I don’t care about owning a nice house or a nice car or 40 pairs of shoes? What if I don’t want so many belongings? What if I want something else?
What if fate is real? I have yet to unravel my spiritual beliefs, but there was a montage of circumstances that aligned just right for me to ponder the “what if’s” with Becky that night (or day). Maybe, it is fate that is drawing me back from my straight and narrow path with a laugh and a pinch on the bum saying, “oh no, I am not done with you yet.” Or maybe, we are all simply looking for signs, desperately searching for symbols in our life that will justify the pursuit of our deepest, most subconscious desires.
Whether it is fate, choice, or a little bit of both that are leading me here, once you start questioning yourself honestly, it is difficult to turn back. You may not always have control over the circumstances in your life, but you realize that there is nothing in this world that you have to do. There are always alternatives. And while this notion should be comforting, for most of us it is pretty damn scary because it means that there is no reason why we can’t be the protagonist of the storybook. It means that if we aren’t 100% satisfied with our lives it is because of our own inability, or refusal, to let go of fears and doubt, be honest with ourselves, and take action.
As for me, I’ve decided. And I am leaving for Asia for 4 – 6 months in January.
Follow me on this journey.
Rogue Flea 
[…] I tell family or friends that I’ve quit my job to travel around Southeast Asia for an extended period, then move across the country upon my return, I’m often forced to assume a […]